♅ It’s Ya Boy

I was watching A Clockwork Orange and drawing my favourite character from Cucumber Quest for the endlessly funny + talented creator, Gigi D.G., and this sort of… Happened. This is Noisemaster! He is the best. Go read the webcomic. It’s great for all ages, the art is wonderful, and the humour is right on point.

♅ Double life

double life

Well, lift me from the wondermaze 
Alienation is the craze 
And it’s all gonna happen to you 
You think it’s a phase 
And it’s all gonna happen to you 
When you drive in the haze

I’ve suffered with my manic depression for years, and every day is a struggle just to function. I love creating art, but since it’s so easy for me to lose clarity and motivation, my creative output is unfortunately not as great as I’d like it to be. This is an attempt to illustrate how I feel; something that has always evaded me.

A lot of people seem to think that to be bipolar you have to be this black-and-white, emotionally volatile, broken human being. I do have my manic and depressive episodes, but there’s more to it than my vacillating moods. My brain gets hazy and memories vanish; I’ll forget entire paragraphs from books right after I read them. I find it extremely difficult to find clarity in my mind, and I’m pretty sure I think very differently from most of the people I know. It’s a struggle to find people I can relate to. I feel so wildly strange.

Text from the background:

Sometimes I get so frustrated
with myself + there’s this
kind of mental fog + I always
forget so many things, it
becomes impossible to focus
or even relate to the people
I care about most, as if their
feelings are a foreign 
concept, and I am an alien

Some music for the mood:

♅ Sindri

sindri

So I’m all kinds of madly in love with Hemlock by Josceline Fenton. The inks are just gorgeous and the entire comic is beautifully drawn. And it has a great story, too. I really suggest you read it. I’m particularly in love with this character, because he has googly eyes, big, poofy hair, and he is SO much fun to draw! I’ve been feeling quite off lately and this is the first thing I’ve drawn in about a month or more. I idly worked on it throughout the day, between writing e-mails and getting side-tracked by my cat.

Hope you’re all well! Be good to each other. Life is too short to not read beautiful comics.

||♅ Pale Flesh- 5 years of IDs

My earlier post made me feel something that is usually quite foreign to me: nostalgia. I looked over the numerous photos and self-portraits I’ve made or been a part of for the past many years. I’ve narrowed them down to my favourites, starting from back in 2009. Enjoy my transformation from teenager to adult. I think I’ve made some real progress.

2009

7820_1138188668966_3946022_n

I often found myself being the unwilling model for photography class projects. These two photos were taken by my friend, Andrea Markovic.

2009

2010

nyc

Not a particularly good year for art, to be honest. But I did take my first big trip on my own with a couple of friends down to New York City. It further fanned the flames of my wanderlust, and was the beginning of a long period of growth and change. This picture is a bit silly, but it brings me many fond memories! Especially of the big floppy red mohawk I used to have. This photo was also taken by Andrea.

2011

diptych

I went through a particularly unpleasant tonsillectomy, then had to get my throat re-cauterized 5 days into healing because a scab came off and exposed a vein. I had to sit in the ER coughing up blood clots the size of ping-pong balls every 5 minutes for a grand total of 12 hours. After waking up at the hospital the second time around, I looked out the window and saw nothing but pure white fog. It was very surreal. It was like waking up in Silent Hill. I had my phone on me and took a couple of pictures, then stitched them up at home later in Photoshop, which I had just gotten. Definitely not from The Pirate Bay though. This remains one of my favourite pictures of myself, ever.

The Ratman's Daughter

I also received a Wacom Bamboo tablet just around the same time! This was my first ever digital drawing, it was inspired by my marathoning of Portal and Portal 2.

splatter portrait

The making of this was basically just to 1-up myself. I discovered splatter brushes and textures.

butterfaceI made friends with a blue morpho at the butterfly conservatory in Niagara Falls.

2012

id 2k12Last February’s attempt at a minimalistic approach. Testing out some inking, beginning to form my own inking style. Discovering filters.

chell summer 2012 idI went to New Orleans and brought back, amongst other things, an ankh necklace, which I had been looking for for some time. It’s a symbol that I have been very attached to for a very long while, it also pops up in my art at times. Continuing to develop that inking style, using lots of solid black but leaving little spaces for texture. It was something I saw in Mike Mignola’s and Cameron Stewart’s work that I liked and wanted to try out.

CCP1

The birth of that style. I got such an overwhelming response from a little doodle I did that I decided to make little portraits like this available for commission.

2013

self portrait Feb 2013 final

And here we are. I’m taking art a bit more seriously now. I’m learning new techniques and trying to tackle an efficient method of digital painting. I have so much more to learn, but it’s reassuring to see how far I’ve come in just a few years, both artistically and as a person. I look forward to improving and branching out even more this year.